Kids and Sugar - Creating Little Addicts
When I was in my deepest addiction I craved sugar constantly. At the time I was a Mom to young children and my choice was to either be uncomfortable, craving the drug I needed, or to hide from my children so I could consume the drug I needed.
I found out very quickly that this arrangement was not sustainable. I could not live a full life, enjoying the life God gave me, and also feed a sugar habit that could never be satisfied.
I’ll never forget one afternoon, sitting with my children reading Anne Of Green Gables aloud. It was such a highlight of our day because we were in the middle of the pandemic, and finding adventure and fun took creativity. We would get our book out and get all cuddled on the couch together and read about how Gilbert Blithe teased Anne and how Anne didn’t forgive him for years.
Every other page gave me a reason to cry, and gave my children a reason to look at me with awe-filled eyes, like, “why did that make her cry like that?” Well, we know as Moms why we cry like that. It’s moving. It’s beauty in the purest sense of the word.
“I’m not a bit changed — not really. I’m only just pruned down and branched out. The real me — back here — is just the same. It won’t make a bit of difference where I go or how much I change outwardly; at heart, I shall always be your little Anne, who will love you and Matthew and dear Green Gables more and better every day of her life.” - Anne
What breathtaking imagery, and the entire book is full of it. Now imagine me not being able to sit and enjoy my sweet read-aloud-time with my children because I needed my sugar fix.
I couldn’t read out loud and eat a brownie at the same time; and even if I could manage to talk with my mouth full I didn’t want to eat a brownie in front of my children, because then they would want a brownie too, and then I would be doing exactly what I told myself I wouldn’t do, which was feeding my kids sugar and making them need it as much as I did!
Today, my recovery from sugar addiction is a gift to myself, but it is also a gift to my children. I am present in their lives in a way that would be impossible if I was making excuses to hide and eat brownies.
Now, instead of hiding and eating, I say “yes” to life. I say yes to my daughter when she asks to play volleyball. I say yes to my son when he asks to play badminton. I enjoy reading aloud without a single thought of what I wish I was eating. I say yes to life and my children because I have said no to sugar.
My recovery has also enabled my children to eat less sugar. they are no longer caught in the cross-fire of my milkshake cravings, inevitably consuming excess sugar because their Mom had to get her hit. Now they get treats like any other kid, but it’s not because their Mother is actively addicted to sugar and can’t stop eating it.
I am not suggesting that children abstain from sugar entirely. (That might be realistic for some, but for my family it would create an environment of unsustainable restriction.) I am suggesting, however, that it’s easy to lose track of how much sugar our children are actually consuming.
On a random day my children will have an ice pop at a neighbor’s house, candy as a prize from their Geography class in their homeschool co-op and a rice crispy treat from the bakesale after classes. I didn’t plan for any of those sweets, they just found my kids. That’s living in today’s world! We don’t hide from it, but we do adjust for it. Sugar will find my children.
To adjust for the sugar that my kids will inevitably consume outside our home, I keep our house (mostly) sugar and ultra-processed food free. That way I’m not adding to the sugar that they are no doubt already consuming. Because sugar will find them, and it all adds up quickly. We may not even realize our children are sugar junkies because we’ve lost track of what they’re actually consuming.
The kinds of health issues that are tied to consuming excess sugar and processed foods should never be experienced by a child. It’s already hard being a kid! Children have so much to navigate and acclimate to; so much to learn and so many new and hard things to conquer. Why add disease and obesity to the list?
In his book The Blood Sugar Solution, Mark Hyman talks about the devastating problem of childhood obesity in America. He says, “Perhaps most disturbing, our children are increasingly affected by this epidemic. We are raising the first generation of Americans to live sicker and die younger than their parents. Life expectancy is actually declining for the first time in history.”
Dr. Mark Hyman goes on to say, “One in three children in America is overweight. We are now seeing eight-year olds with diabetes, fifteen-year olds with strokes, and twenty-five year olds who need cardiac bypass.”
In my blog post, What Sugar is Doing to Our Body and Brain, I talk about the prevalence of high blood sugar and all the conditions that surround it. PCOS, Non-Alcoholic Fatty Liver Disease, Type 2 Diabetes, and on and on. Our children are not immune to these conditions. Earlier and earlier in their little lives they are experiencing diseases that were once reserved for mid-life and beyond.
We need to help our children understand how to navigate the food environment they are growing up in. Our children will be physically healthier, more mentally resilient, and more emotionally strong if we can help them make good food decisions in today’s confusing food environment.
And it’s so confusing! The other day my children and I were at the store and my son asked for a bag of chips. My response was, “Sure, if you share them with your sister.” He response was, “Sharrre??” I turned the bag over and showed him the back where the serving size was listed.
The small bag said 3.5 servings! Big Food companies are deceiving our children. They are selling multiple servings in a bag, and because it’s a tiny amount of food that packs a serious calorie/saturated fat/sodium punch (enough for three adults!) our children will eat the whole thing, and as a result will consume way more than is healthy for them.
Who picks up a 3.5 oz. bag of Fritos and only eats 1 oz? Not my kids! Eating a third of a tiny bag of chips is not realistic, and the food industry knows it. They successfully make their unhealthy food look relatively harmless by splitting up their ingredients by serving size, drastically minimizing each category; knowing full well that a child will not be consuming 1/3 of the bag, but the entire bag.
Food that is marketed to children is loaded with sugar and ingredients not fit for their growing bodies. Today’s children have dessert several times a day. They don’t actually sit down to a piece of cake multiple times a day, but what they are consuming is, in effect, dessert.
When our kids have dessert for breakfast, (let’s call that sugary cereal what it is!) we are setting them up for blood sugar instability throughout the day. That bowl of cereal will have their blood sugar crashing hard in a couple of hours, and their energy levels with it.
Now, they will need more sugar to counteract the slump, and the cycle continues. Numerous studies show that kids are negatively affected by eating high-glycemic foods for breakfast. High-glycemic foods are the foods that spike blood sugar and leave our kids crashing and looking for more energy. Think frozen french toast sticks, sugary cereal, and even popular “healthy” yogurt brands.
Life is busy! I know it’s far easier to pour a bowl of cereal for our kids than make them an egg, but at what cost? I want my children to thrive, and starting their day with a sugar spike is not a good way to make that happen.
Making an egg takes two minutes. Reheating some oatmeal and adding a touch of honey, coconut oil and cinnamon takes two minutes. Pouring a big glass of ice cold milk to wash it all down takes 30 seconds. Now my kids are fed (and fueled!) to start their day!
When we feed our children healthy food that nourishes their body and works alongside their delicate hormonal system we are saving their lives. We are saving their future. When we put good, whole food onto their plates and into their mouths we are making deposits into their future health.
Real food, protein, fruits, vegetables, healthy fats, unrefined and minimally processed grains and carbs, lots of water and physical activity are what children need.
When we limit ultra-processed foods and added/refined sugar in their diets their brain responds in a healthy way and they naturally want food that is good for them. Children don’t crave what their body doesn’t need if their system hasn’t been (overly) subjected to it.
Children need our help to be healthy. Take the time to empower yourself to help your children. Learn what foods will support their growing bodies and brains. Listen to podcasts, read books, talk to a physician you trust who knows the power of food. Knowledge is power! Help yourself and your family thrive when the default in our current food environment is to falter.
And It’s About So Much More Than Just Physical Health
Life can get hard, overwhelming, underwhelming, emotional, and more even (especially?) for a child. I want my children to know the truth: That sugar is not a solution. Eating sugar distracts us for the moment and then leaves us depleted, weak and addicted. I don’t want my children to believe the lie that sugar can give them comfort with no strings attached. I believed it, and it’s wildly inaccurate.
There is so much value in dealing with the hard things in life as they are handed to us. We are stronger than we know, and the momentary relief that a sugary treat provides renders us weak.
Strength and resilience come from facing our feelings head on. We were not created by God to need chocolate to soothe us. We were not created by God to need sugar to overcome stress.
Let me give you an example of this in our daily life. One day a few years ago I was sitting at the table with my two beautiful children. I could get lost in their eyes; their creative, beautiful, dreamy eyes.
On this particular day my daughter, Brielle, was having a problem with her math. Who doesn’t, right? Just the thought of my daughter struggling with something makes me want to spiral internally. Am I failing her? How can I help her? Will she be okay? I’m letting her dowwwwwn! Spiral spiral spiral.
There she sits, completely unaware of her mother’s undoing happening right in front of her; her eyes down looking at the pile of work before her. “It’s so muuuuuuuch.” She says, “I’m so stressssssed.” Her whining adds to my already present guilt that she is struggling and it is almost too much for me to bear.
In the past I would have gotten up and quickly soothed all of our emotions with something from the kitchen. Maybe a cup of hot chocolate or some popcorn. It would distract us and bring immediate relief. But I don’t self-soothe anymore, and I certainly don’t soothe my children with something as ineffective and unsustainable as a treat.
Having some delicious hot chocolate while cuddled on the couch reading together is one thing, but using food to deal with something hard is another thing altogether. This feeling of fear and dread is not getting a cup of hot chocolate! Sugar is never the solution.
In the absence of a food-bandaid a hole is left. A hole that suddenly I knew, in this instance, needed to be filled with connection. “Brielle, come here and let's hug.” She got up and walked the two steps to my chair, doing her best to hold her head low and look as miserable as possible.
I held her close to me, chest to chest, tummy to tummy. I squeezed her for a few long moments. I felt her body go limp and her breathing slow. She climbed into my lap like a puppy and curled up.
We hugged more. In that moment, and so many more moments every day throughout the week, I teach my children that sugar is not a solution. We don’t push down our emotions and soothe our problems away. We lean in, we feel the reality of how hard things are, we connect and do something beneficial instead of destructive, and we are better and stronger for it.
After I held her for a few more moments I told her “Okay, we’ll do some more hugging after we get some work done. Didn’t that feel good?” Her face was alight; my face was equally aglow. All this from a hug? Yes! All this from a hug! Connection is huge. Hugging causes your brain to release the bonding hormone, Oxytocin, which reduces stress hormones and increases feel-good hormones.
The simple act of a hug can lower your heart rate, lessen anxiety and depression and even relieve pain, among other amazing benefits. We were made for connection. I solicit hugs daily (minute-ly?) from my family for this very reason!
Self-care like this is so much healthier than self-soothing with sugar. Yes, a brownie would have made my table of whiners shut right up. Their eyes would light up and so would their brains as dopamine rushed to the scene to make them feel better. I would feel better too, because I fixed the problem.
But a half an hour later the whining would return, and up a notch, because we all would be sugar-crashing, and an opportunity for growth in the moment would have been missed. I would have once again applied a food-bandaid to our problem, further conditioning our brains to look for a treat when problems arise.
Granted, hug therapy and connection to fix (almost) everything is a useful tool for a very specific age. Thankfully my kids are still in that stage. Brielle frequently comes up to me when she feels stressed or overwhelmed and says “Can I have a centering hug?” I’m sure as they become teenagers it will become less effective. But there is always a tool that will work. There is always something we can do to help our children “self-care” instead of “self-soothe.”
Teaching our children to self-care now is powerful, and its benefits will last far beyond childhood. Think about how their life stresses and problems will change as they grow. Every hard thing that comes their way is an opportunity for them to grow and thrive and become more resilient.
My prayer is that my children choose the hard way instead of the easy way, whether the easy way looks like sugar, drugs, alcohol, relationships, or anything else. Because I know from experience that taking the hard way is the only way that leads to thriving and freedom.
In Freedom,
Sarah Grace
